and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
