you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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