i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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