If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
