she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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