Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
