Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
