rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
