so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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