We won't sleep together?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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