why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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