You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
