I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
