the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize