If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
