just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
