She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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