We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
