READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
