You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
