Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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