Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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