Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
