my vag is so smooth its legendary
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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