We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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