@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
