That's when you crack a 10am beer
I could make wine with my vomit
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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