my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
