she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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