i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
not ubering you a puppy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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