Soap is not a condiment
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you made out with another girl for some wings
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
