I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
