I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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