i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk is not a location!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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