yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
