is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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