I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
