was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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