My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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