Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
