I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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