The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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