I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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