You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
