ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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