"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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