Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
