I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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