it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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