bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
