I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
