Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
