the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
