I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
How's work?
Spinning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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