A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I enjoy the company of your penis
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