is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Mom said you looked used
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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