Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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